Where I go, I go
October 26th, 2025
8AM I woke: scrolled for an hour and opened the blinds. The sun glistened over bay water.
I have no plans today. My mind goes to J, the niece. I am not sure how I am going to explain to her Uncle H why things didn't work out. But for how things go, they go.
I am very sad today. Yesterday I had a panic attack during a nice dinner. Should I apologize?
And when I do, how should I do it? When I go on these dates, am I being performative? Am I fake? Are all the friends I have because I am fake?
I suppose it is that way if I frame my reality that way.
I should choose my words carefully from here on out, if not, I'll cause myself a panic attack again. I should focus on the here and now.
Live Happily
Today, I will not work. I am looking forward to bacon for breakfast.
Should I buy a motorcycle today?
If not today, then when?
We all have one life on this planet to etch a record of our lives.
Over the Hill
A well-dressed boy and mom walk a San Jose street. An auntie takes a picture as they cross.
A Chinese couple—the man takes a drag of his cigarette and the woman leans on his shoulder, her head off to the side. Love.
A group of Cantonese folks walk into the restaurant. They ask to move the tables to sit together.
A couple sits on their couch and watches the news.
J drops me off at the San Jose station and looks me in the eye.
From an apartment balcony, a young man looks out. The sun glistened over bay water.
Over the hill we go.