Siddartha
October 12th, 2024
I was right before, I'm not sure why I forgot. What words are intuitively.
I try to read other people's work, to try to a get a sense for their reality---I should trust my own intuition for explaining things.
To remind myself: language is not the territory, it's not the reality. The reality itself may not even exist, but what does that matter? Language is the map, and the map, well, is there a way to not read what's written down on it?
Abstraction Layer
The words that come in my mind are the abstraction layer---the perception layer. That much is intuitive to me as much as anything else. There may be more lurking in the subconscious, the unconscious, God, whatever you might want to call that layer, but there is as much that the perception exists and we create our language out of it.
we abstract the language, the words we choose based on the foundations of this layer---the past of this layer. History rewrites this arbitrary layer to whatever we'd like. That's what education is.
So, the question is, how do you build this intuition? How do you build a "good" intuition?
I am an intuitive person. Most realizations I come to not by thinking but just sitting at ease, and at some moment the thought comes to mind that may be completely left field.
I understand now that the words that come to mind, the thoughts we have, they are completely arbitrary, influenced by our past experiences of course, but those experiences are by chance. Life is never controlled and by chance, so by causation our thoughts are by chance.
The question is, how do you choose your thoughts better for a more happy life?
The question is, should you even listen to the thoughts you have?
An Unhappy Life
Say you lived an unhappy life up to this point. The experiences you have are of loneliness and longing. The people you've met have spat on you, looked down on you, treated you as nothing, and continually harrassed you. These are the thought patterns, the paradigms you have and will continue to have for years to come. Should you listen to your thoughts?
If you can influence the words your mind conjure up by consuming pieces of media with positive connotations, should you do it?
We naturally gravitate towards symbols on the screen and page that make us feel negative or shocking emotions (think CNN or FOX news.) I am not excluded from this, of course, but I write this to ask the question to you, the reader, should you listen to what these things have to say?
Should you choose to put these symbols in mind? Into your subconscious unconscious forever and ever?
I say you shouldn't. You should choose carefully what to put to mind, and to continue down that path as carefully as possible.
The thoughts are the abstractions that form our fundamental being. Should we not be careful of the things we do?
If you have lived a destitute life, with thoughts of continual death and the cycle of negative thinking, perhaps, perhaps giving yourself a rest from abstraction is the only true course of path.
Keep going.
Workaholic
I am a workaholic. I've been a workaholic ever since I started working in August.
I don't ask for help nearly as much as I should, I should try to ask for help around two hours of trying to figure something out.
I think my biggest issue is interacting with my teammates. Or, are these the words and abstractions getting in the way again?
"I think." You know? I think I'm fine.
Moving Forward, Abstractions
It doesn't matter if what I say sounds pretentious. It doesn't matter if what I say doesn't seem to make sense.
Castaway the abstraction, what I'm saying. Commit to living in reality. Commit to living in the now. See things without thinking, Look!
This is green. This is red. I've worked two weekends in a row without any form of stress relief.
This is purple. This is small. This is big. This is black. This is this.