Raw Fucking Feelings
January 20th, 2026
I fucking hate the state of the world right now. It's scary. It's fearful. War is on the horizon everywhere, and everyone is trying to secure their own borders.
And you know what? My fucking friend J can't seem to accept that there's a rational reason out of safety for Trump to take Greenland. It's real. I hate this fucking Trump Derangement Syndrom (TDS) that the fucking planet has right now because he's trolling people through inflammatory propaganda. Like, get the fuck over the words he's fucking saying and watch what he's doing. I can guarantee you that he did not get to where he is by being fucking stupid, unlike a whole lot of people who are just bleeding into their fucking emotions right now.
Do I endorse it? No. I think it's a bold tactic, one that could've been taken through much more peaceful means, like offering a sweet trade deal up front, and Trump and his admin probably thought of that already, but you know, there's a lot better routes that could've been taken to acquire the territory.
But still, I hate how deranged people fucking are. Just relax. Watch his fucking actions not his words. He'll say bullshit but end up meeting in the middle. But, still, the end game still has to be on the table for a negotiation to go down.
Why did I ever expect being able to go into the fucking San Francisco Bay Area and be able to actually discuss politics. Politics is not something to be discussed here, it's something to be marched at the tune of fucking pure emotion.
Listen, I'm a bleeding heart liberal. I get it. But you've got to get over this orange man bad mindset. I dislike this guy, but he's got a point. He's got a point about a lot of things, and if you keep knee jerking away, you're going to kneejerk 40% of the American population away, and if you're willing to do that, are you really American? Do you care about your fellow countrymen, despite their differences in beliefs?
America is at is it because we share this land, from Silicon Valley technologists to West Virginia coal miners, we are a diversity of people of lives and beliefs. But we all believe in civil liberties and through this union that we defend together. Our unity is in our shared belief in our political systems.
Trump is performing democratic backsliding. But so has every administration since Bush. And so has FDR. Johnson. This is not the first time, and I'm tired of the media playing it up like this is the second coming of Hitler.
There's a side and rationale and reason and perfectly good emotion over every single decision to be had. There's a life behind every choice. And maybe, I ought to respect people's right to get outraged. But moreso I just get so damn frustrated that people can't think in geopolitics or refuse to think so.
We Americans live this enriched lives because of the imperialism and the weapons manufacturing over the past century, and there's this cognitive dissonance that something else led our country to riches. I'm sorry. It's not liberties and ideas of democracy that did (and while I love it, haha.)
Every American has benefitted from the arms trade, an economy work together and lift all boats. If you live in this society, you enjoy the fruits of imperialism, and Europe is no different. I hate this moral superiority shit when the only reason other people across the globe bother sniffing it is for the fucking foreign aid and allies that come with it and we go boyaa and pretend like we're some morally superior option.
I hate to say it, but I feel like any sense of morality in politics is just some bullshit to placate the masses. That's why I like Trump, because he's fucking showing the world how it really is. The truth. My truth at least.
It's true though, when it comes to day-to-day interactions morality matters. Person to person. But countries and nations don't operate on morality or feelings, they're systems to be kept self-sustaining and protecting of themselves and their constituents. They are Machiavellian machines, and I really hope people might understand that one day.
I want a government that serves me, sure, but it sure as hell isn't going to serve me with super-PACs. We exist in systems, I don't blame people for the way they behave. We live in a system that punishes outside thinking and deviation from what is right and correct.
I don't believe in these systems that don't allow for nuanced thinking. This is not the America I want to live in, this is an America where ideas are considered dangerous, and I suppose it's always been.
I suppose this is my reckoning that freedom of speech is not quite so free after all.
That I was lied to. There is no freedom of speech in America, and I recognize this very well now.
I suppose it sounds like I have a superiority complex, looking down on everyone for not seeing my reality. Perhaps so. But I will say that not seeing my reality doesn't make it any less true. Perhaps this is one of those language games, where the game I play this is the truest it'll be.
Of my relativism, it is true, and the practical benefits it gets me are numerous. But frankly, I want to.
Earlier this year, I noticed something in China that really surprised me. I realized I felt more comfortable discussing controversial ideas in Beijing than in San Francisco. I didn’t feel completely comfortable—this was China, after all—just more comfortable than at home. —Sam Altman
I don’t know who Satoshi is, but I’m skeptical that he, she, or they would have been able to come up with the idea for bitcoin immersed in the current culture of San Francisco—it would have seemed too crazy and too dangerous, with too many ways to go wrong. If SpaceX started in San Francisco in 2017, I assume they would have been attacked for focusing on problems of the 1%, or for doing something the government had already decided was too hard. I can picture Galileo looking up at the sky and whispering “E pur si muove” here today.
I find it truer and truer everyday. I find it frustrating intellectually speaking, so I suppose I'll leave my brain out of the matter when it comes to politics.
It's better to use my brain to find out-there-novel-entreperneurial ideas than anything regarding politics. It's a whole waste of time, and to who? Who do I convince? I truly felt I was able to express myself and my beliefs, but all it does is bring me contempt.
I realize we are all coming under authoritarian times, all our freedoms of speech will disappate, and I cannot trust any of my neighbors to know my real views. Fear is in the air, and I cannot blame my friends for feeling the way they do. The way I feel. I am under the same system as any other, and I am the same as any other. Systems upon systems we exist in.
I just realized that none of this matters. What matters it that I need to find people who not think like me, but simply to focus on the things that matter, and that are common amongst ourselves, but for the whole of it, I have found myself more and more isolated.
I like more hobby spaces, perhaps something so niche and odd?
I like games, but perhaps something more niche?
Meaningless
Perhaps the most important thing is that... well... I just dont have any interests out of work and making money. It's sort of depressing. I don't know why my mind maps meaning to that, and that's a bit judgemental and accusatory
It's okay to be judgemental. It's okay to be so angry at the world for failing expectation of free speech. It's okay. It's okay to want to rationalize what Trump is doing in Greenland for better understanding. It's okay to condemn it. It's okay to support it. It's okay to do any of it.
It's okay to feel sad, and it's okay to look out at the dark night sky. It's so dark out there. And it's okay to understand that the world is coming down on itself.
It's okay. All of it is part of the human condition. I am touching parts of the human condition, as is everyone else. I am human like any other. I am no different than anyone else at this point.
It's true. It's hard to see the world as it is.
We are all the result of the systems and lives we have all lived. I do not blame anyone for as they are, for we are as we all are. I am as I am. That is simply the case as it is, and what's happened happened.
I will probably stop talking to J as much, and distance myself from the duo.
They called me names and shat on me for my views. And they'll do it again. It's true. They have every right to do that. And I have a right to stop associating with them.
This isn't the first time I've lost friends over politics. It's all so silly to me. Politics doesn't even matter jack shit.
I fucking hate the systems in place. My being is on fire. But my views are the result of my upbringing. They are not the truth. Perhaps that's why I am so inflamed, because I so strongly belief it to be my truth, but is it?
Is my truth the truth? Perhaps not. Perhaps it is. But it's part of the truth. And perhaps it's part of the game.
My whole philosophy rests on an idea of perspective frames. The context frames the meaning, it frames the morality, the ethics, and it gives those words meaning. But for anything of the matter of God or the unspeakable, why, leave that mystery to everything above. That's all I have to say.
That's all anyone has to say about the matter. Let God be the judge of Donald Trump in my eyes, I am tired of trying to play moral arbiter judge and jury. There is no such case. I hate it with all my spirit.
There's not judge and jury here. There's only simply what needs to be done in my self-interests. I act as an agent of myself, as a system of myself, and so on and so forth.
Perhaps I should go to sleep. I should not think of things past 9pm and trust the words that come to mind. The words are tricky things, after all.
Perhaps that question is, what am I feeling, and how can I feel it thoroughly?
The words often decieve our reality, as Mishima said they are corrosive. I wonder what the truth of the matter is.
Perhaps nothing that words can speak of us are any fraction of the truth. "I know that I know nothing."
Then watch. And see the world for as it is. Not the world as you want it to be. Not the world as you see it.
"Are am become."
Don't think, but look! —Ludwig Wittgenstein