A Rainy Day
February 9th, 2023
Picked up some documents from the doctor's office. Talked to my parents. Practiced happiness.
Today, I'm thankful for:
- cold showers
- the pittering of rain across my window
- anime and manga
- a hearty breakfast
- the cold wind
Being Excitable
I realize I'm not a relatively "chill person." I think I've mentioned before I'd like to be easygoing, but I'm certainly finding that's not the case.
And that's alright. I'm me. I'm just a person.
So I've decided to just believe in myself and the things I say. The way I feel. To really dig my heels deep into my being and say it as it is.
Or maybe, I'm getting lost in the words again. I've found a good habit of putting my index finger to my lips, as a way of letting myself know I should hush.
Trying to be this or that; I'll just get torn apart again.
Hustle
I stopped hustling. I don't want to pursue ideas that'll be monetizable. I'm burning out.
I don't need to start a podcast, or do shit really. I just need to handle myself. I'll have a job soon enough that'll pay pretty well, and if I save until I'm 30 years old I'm basically set to be a part of the "gentry class."
In other words, I've already worked hard enough to have a modest living. So... taking a step back.
where I am
- I haven't started boxing
- I haven't been bouldering
- I've been sitting in my room browsing the internet all day
- Still working on freelance jobs
- My mental is great
- My physical is weaker
- I'm more confident than I have been in a while
- I have more time to myself
- Interacting with others isn't hard anymore. My anxiety is little to none.
- I trust myself
