Porn
April 12th, 2024
An interesting observation I had on myself---on days I woke up with morning wood, I felt less inclined to masturbate.
When I am feeling unconfident and have less libido, I feel more inclined to masturbate.
I think these correspond with states of high and low testosterone respectively. Additionally, in high testosterone states I felt less sensitive, I would probably not have premature---er---ejaculation in this state. Whereas in a low testosterone state I was more sensitive, I probably would have PE.
In addition, I was frying eggs yesterday and some oil splashed on me. Strangely enough, I didn't react. It didn't hurt. I think that didn't freak me out, but it definitely surprised me. Usually I'd flinch back and reel in a bit of pain. Also, when I was barefoot running, I stepped on multiple hard nuts and twigs. It didn't hurt like it usually did.
Today, I felt more pain running when I stepped on the hard nuts and twigs stabbing into my feet. Additionally, I also felt a compulsive need to masturbate and view pornography. (I will also note, I ate a lot of white bread for lunch. Perhaps, it is sugar that is lowering my testosterone levels?) I wacked at it, but failed to coom. Somehow it feels a bit demoralizing to fail at both abstaining and ejaculating.
I think I'm dehydrated. Phew. Keeping up all my bodily health is a tough challenge.
Summary
Low testosterone - compulsion to masturbate, low status, needy, agitated, not calm, more sensitive to pain, more sensitive to stress, low energy, low posture, low sex drive, low muscle
High testosterone - no compulsion to masturbate, high status, self-assured, calm, less sensitive to pain, less sensitive to stress, high energy, strong posture, high sex drive, more muscle
The body will try to maximize testosterone levels as long as you feed it healthily. (Diet and sun!)
Social Aspects, Philosophy
I also notice I tend to perform socially better on higher levels of testosterone. I also perform in high-stress situations better. It's interesting.
And, it makes me kind of sad.
Perhaps, perhaps it really is the sugar in our food.