nosebleed
November 12th, 2024
The days just keep getting shorter and shorter. Perhaps this is what life is without a romantic relationship. It just speeds on by.
I just get the feeling I'm aging out of the internet, if that makes sense. As if, I ought to be more selective with my time and how I spend it---there are so many days I get, should I not squander it?
And I feel like it's that attitude that really represents the end of my youth. Staying young is about wasting time and not worrying about squandering it, it's how you can really stay young in my opinion.
Worrying if you're spending your time wisely, I think that's the business of the old and decrepit, no?
I feel old
The people around me just get younger and younger. I'm reaching twenty-five in a half year, what do I have to show for it? The pressure sort of surmounts on top of me.
I think it's important to take a breathe and not get sucked too much in the details. I think if I take a little breathe and give it some thought, I'll find some light at the end of the tunnel.
I think, I think it'll be fine.
I spend my days hanging out with coworkers and old friends, buying expensive dinners in an expensive city, and obsess about my work and try to go above and beyond.
I look at that maid figurine I got from Round One. Touhou. I think in a moment of silence, is she waiting out there for me? Is there someone out there that would really want me? Such insecure thoughts crowd my head.
A voice of sternness comes out of my mind, that dispells that negativity. That, instead of using energy to worry about those things, you need to commit. You need to get it done and have it done. A stern will.
"If you will it into the world, it will be done."
Life is really just about the strongest wills, it's about forcing things a certain way no matter the cost if you really want it that badly.
Or perhaps, not life, but about reaching your goals. Pick one, and force it and will it towards that direction.