Neurotic
February 27th, 2024
Agh. Agh. Agh. Hey, what do you think of all this... life stuff?
Emotions, satisfaction, being a good person, being a bad person, judgement, morality, grey areas...
Worry, anxiety. Vibes. VIBES.
People can detect the vibe you give off. How... neurotic you are. How crazy you are.
When I've got a lot of pent up frustration, people tend to shy away from me. I can kinda figure they know that I'm not feeling well.
I wonder what the cure is. Actually, I don't. I know what the cure is, because I've successfully done it before.
You kinda... to cure the neuroticism...
Stop Thinking
To cure the tendency to worry, you have to stop worrying. Crazy, right? But as with all things, doing nothing is quite frankly HARD.
Stop thinking. Stop embellishing the emotions. Stop indulging in the tension.
Just... stop for a second. I'm certain it's easier when you have something hold attention in your mind. But the neurotic tend to obssess over it. I do, at least.
The Mythos of Words
I think it's high-time I really commit this to memory---words are fake.
All written word. All thought words. Words are pointers to real things in the real world that you sense. They are labels and categories. But never, ever, are they the reality.
So if I come out and think, "I'm an idiot" or "life sucks," remember the truth. The nature. The reality. Words are pointers and labels. They are not the data, the reality, the values.
Words are representatives of what your mind points to. They are fake. They aren't real. They aren't reality, and they certainly don't lead to reality.
What do you point to? What do you mention? What do you want to communicate to others? Do I even want to communicate to others?
Consciousness is an illusion. The reality, the perception, all of it is fake, formed of set-in-stone experiences that stain my senses. It is untruthful, and how can I believe anything false?
The only real thing for me, is being. My whole mind is a falsity, a framework crafted for practicality and money creation. A capitalist propaganda machine to keep a system going.
Existence is the only truth. Senses are the only truth of reality. Tiredness, feelings, danger, being. It is all the only truth. The truth I have to come to respect beyond all things.
Wake up! Wake up from the crisis of words. Wake up from the lies your brain is telling yourself, and listen to the stomach. Listen to the muscles in your body. Listen to the being in your soul.
The Japanese mythos plants the soul in the stomach; we are organisms, formed first of a tube anus to mouth. The stomach is where the soul is, not the mind, not the false thoughts in the head.
We developed brains to invent casuality and increase our chances of our survival probabilistically. But it can never decipher a truth. We can't. It's impossible, because that's the reality we live in.
That's the framework we exist in. But paradoxically, you must find a refuge, a freedom in knowing that the soul is not bound to the mind.
The words that flow, the words that plague the mind, how can any of it ever be true? They are all pointers to reality. Look at reality. Don't look just at where they are biasedly pointing, see as much as you can, see the truth as much as you can. Look. See. Sense.
Stop thinking. Start watching. Looking. Observing. Absorb the world, the data. The reality. See it all with the soul. Stop looking at it with the mind.