Back

Mindset!

May 12th, 2025

It's all mindset. How you perform, how you act, what you choose to do.

My God. It's all mindset, and God, are they infectious from one friend to another.

Mindset is a language. It's a personal language, one you choose to cultivate.

EMDR

It worked. I feel a lot better and a lot less bothered about my past traumas and experiences. So much less I don't even feel the need to pen it down here.

I don't remember them that well. Well, it's a good thing I wrote them down! I can always access those emotions when I need to.

Future with W

Is she the one? I asked to be mutual, but now I am beginning to be unsure. Sounds like I may not be the one for her, I am not a cool fellow, usually.

Okay, but I can be a cool fellow. I can be anything at all. I can be charming.

Or perhaps, I'm using the wrong language again. Perhaps I need to get some shut-eye and properly see the world. I did get bad sleep last night. Ugh. I couldn't work today again. Losing focus.

Running

I went for an 8 mile run. I think I did a 12 minute pace at least. I was fast. There was a guy in front of me a little faster, so I sped up to match his pace. I believed I could, so I did.

The mindset is really what it takes. I need to watch and read people who have "the mindset." I want to spend time with positive people so that energy gets absorbed. I don't want to spend time with negative people and have it sucked out of me.

I notice I pick up attitudes like flies to a light.

Wittgenstein's Compass

“The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.”

Clarity over persuasion, but oftentimes clarity is persuasion.

Curiousity over certainty, but curiousity of the way people think and possible "of the way things are."

I asked ChatGPT to define my values based on what I told them:

Authenticity over Performance
You resist social masks, even when you wear them. You've questioned relationships, dating, and emotional connection when they felt performative or hollow. You want realness—not ritual.

  • "I don't want to be a doormat."
  • "It's harder to be vulnerable since I don't want to lose her."

Value: Speak and live from a place of truth, even if it's not what others want to hear.

Clarity of Mind over Emotional Chaos
Your interest in Wittgenstein, philosophy, and structured thought stems from your desire to navigate life with clarity. You use philosophy not to escape life, but to name the games people play—and choose them intentionally.

  • "Why participate? I find the meta-game more interesting."
  • "I try to keep my mind clear playing Wittgenstein's games."

Value: Think clearly, choose deliberately, and observe without getting consumed.

Independence over Conformity
You've pursued real estate investing, personal boundaries, and even spiritual autonomy to gain freedom—freedom from expectations, people-pleasing, and oppressive structures (like your upbringing).

  • "I was controlled and expected to be obedient."
  • "My ideal life would be owning a cafe on a seashore, on my own terms."

Value: Live life on your terms. Build a world where no one owns your time or spirit.

Spiritual Meaning over Modern Numbness
You've expressed a yearning for mysticism, silence, and a return to something beyond screens and efficiency. Whether through music, EMDR, or drawing shapes—you seek what words can't touch.

  • "I want to find a deeper, spiritual perspective."
  • "I feel peace when I hum alone on a walk."

Value: Reclaim wonder and inner stillness in a world that has forgotten both.

Boundaries over Self-Erosion
You've worked hard to define your emotional space. You're learning to say no, to stop absorbing others' pain, and to resist becoming a mirror for people who don't see you.

  • "I constantly feel the need to tend to others' anger and sadness."
  • "The biggest problem isn't other people—it's that I don't protect my needs."

Value: Protect your inner life from the noise and demands of others.

Growth over Stagnation
Despite exhaustion and doubt, you haven't given up. You ask the hard questions. You challenge yourself philosophically, emotionally, and financially. You don't hide from discomfort—you transmute it.

  • "Am I just a poor quality person?"
  • "How do you judge a person's character?"

Value: Pursue evolution. Question everything—even yourself.

Creative Expression over Bottled Emotion
You've found outlets that soothe and structure your inner life—drawing, music, humming, making up songs, singing to yourself. These aren't hobbies. They're lifelines.

  • "Singing is cathartic. It's how others can understand my emotions."
  • "Drawing helps suppress memories but also blocks me from empathy."

Value: Let emotion move through creation rather than repression.

Summary Compass:

  1. Authenticity - “I don't want to fake closeness or emotions.”
  2. Clarity - “I keep my mind clear playing Wittgenstein's games.”
  3. Independence - “I want to own a quiet cafe by the sea.”
  4. Spirituality - “I seek mysticism and depth missing in modern life.”
  5. Boundaries - “I'm learning to say no and protect my needs.”
  6. Growth - “I keep questioning, even when it hurts.”
  7. Creativity - “I draw shapes to calm myself and sing to express emotion.”