I quit therapy
October 18th, 2024
It wasn't helping me. That's it. I just vented my problems, and it's clear it didn't help me. I was late to an appointment and I got slapped with a late fee of $105. That's a bit much.
I don't think my therapist really cared to be honest---she's got a whole slew of patients waiting at the door. I'm just one of many after all.
And, I guess, that's how people are. They don't really care. As I get older the more I feel the world gets colder to you, which is to be expected. People just can't afford to care.
I need a smoke.
Headspace, thoughts, and headspace
Any proposition can explain the states of affairs of the world as long as their elementary propositions hold true: why am I telling myself this crap?
Honestly, if I just replace the internal voice with a new one, wouldn't all these things be resolved?
But, I wouldn't be me after that, would I? I don't understand it really.
Stop. Just be. Stop thinking about this or that, and just be. Be comfortable with people disliking you. Be comfortable with people wanting to get away from you or getting frustrated with you. Be comfortable with all that.
I am what I am. And there's no getting around that. As much as I want to change, there's only so much change that can happen within a few hours. Change takes time, and time I have.
I am as I am at this moment in time. I ought to be as I am, and nothing more than that.
Look me in the eye and try to get on even footing with me. My lived experiences and genetics have guaranteed what I am, and if that alone is not justification for my present existence, then may everyone on this planet too lack the justification!