Experience
August 31st, 2025
Today I woke up and cooked six slices of bacon and five eggs. I did it in two batches since my pan was really small, next time I'll cook with two stainless steel pans simultaneously instead of one.
It's the weekend but I have several meetings scheduled for today. Labor Day holiday is tomorrow, yet I'm also scheduled to work then too.
Updates
It's a friends birthday yesterday. Today I'm going to celebrate it with them.
An old friend called me up to play some online chess two days ago. It was fun. Afterwards, I started playing ten minute time control rather than three minute bullet, and I've found that I'm much better with the time to perform calculations. I'm about 1200-1300 rating on ten minute time control.
Yesterday I got my brows and hair done. I had been due for both for quite some time, a couple weeks even. I look a lot cleaner now. I visited a new hair salon and the owner auntie said I looked handsome! I said thank you. Growing up I was an ugly duckling, so I really do wonder now if I look good. I do catch people looking at me more often on the public transit, but that could be signal for being ugly or handsome, haha.
Yesterday, I noticed that I'm having a hard time maintaining interest and conversation with other people, but perhaps that's the hunger and sleep deprivation talking. I think I'm feeling better today, and most anyone has a hard time keeping conversation going when they're hungry, angry, and hangry.
I've tried to make it a habit to complain less and take my experiences more "in stride." Sure. Easier said than done, but I guess complaints are said, so it'd be more accurate to say, "Easier said than said."
Cycling in SF
There's a bike share program in San Francisco. I've found to quite enjoy it. I have the annual membership, and I don't even think of it as exercise even though that's what it is. I get around the city on the electric bikes for rent and find it quite enjoyable.
A ten out of ten purchase. It takes time to commute, but I enjoy the commute all the more.
I haven't found a helmet that doesn't flatten my hair though, so I've yet to find a solution for that.
Artificial Intelligence and the Day-to-Day
ChatGPT helps me answer all my questions really quickly. From how to operate my Roborock vacuum to filling out paperwork and filings in Michigan. I pay for the GPT-5 model subscription so I can also take photos and found it much more convienent for granular searches.
A search that would take scouring across five Reddit threads and an obscure blog now only takes one prompt. It's an amazing search engine. Plus, I don't even need the words anymore! I can just take a photo.
Technology is amazing.
I wonder if I could build a startup that protects artists' IP against neural network models. At the very least I foresee the future being AI, and art being generated by AI in big production companies. But artists should be able to sell their rights earn royalties from these companies churning out material.
I think an IP future is the direction we ought to take our AI. Not getting rid of it, but going forward to protect artists. Only issue is is that artists are historically and typically a financially distraught set of people, so there's not much power to protect them.
Empty?
Yesterday I felt a pang of loneliness looking out my studio. I've got a nice view of the city, so I can see the sea of lights. Will I find someone? Will they find me? Will they even like me?
The words race in my head. But reflecting on it now, I had the same category of worrisome thoughts waking up for junior high, applying to college, and looking for employment.
It'll be fine. Even if I don't find anyone, I can still enjoy a little life.
Being More Safe and Understandable
Sometimes I wonder if I should keep saving anime girls to my hard drive, and if this habit of mine will make it hard for people to be attracted to me.
I'm able to maintain the facade of being normal and composed, but sometimes I wonder if I should just be normal and composed instead of re-posting illustrations and stream-of-conscious-ing on my Neocities blog.
You know, sports, competition, dancing and singing in the clerb (club), religion, family. The normal stuff society-participating folk do (professionals, politicians, and blue-collar workers).
Normal is safe. Walmart and H&M look the same for a reason. Having unpopular ideas is surefire to be not exotic, but outcast.
Being Me
Probably going to keep posting my thoughts here anyway. Not deranged thoughts, but just... my thoughts. No need to label them so negatively. I accept who I am.
Sometimes I forget to practice acceptance and being proud of what I like. It doesn't matter how old I am, or whatever the case is. I like what I like.
I shouldn't let other people or the society in my head put me down. And I'm doing the right thing by acknowledging that. Sure, it's going to be hard to find a partner. But you know what? That's fine. I am who I am, and I am not going to change that just so I can find a partner.
Betraying myself would be a travesty to myself, and I shouldn't find a partner based on that.
Sure, my aunties back home in Texas are using their network to find me a girl I'd like. But I don't think these girls are my type to be honest. I'm looking for someone a bit quirky and unique.
Someone with interests in the anime/game subculture and wants to branch out to other things.
Game Development
I've been wanting to get back into game development as a hobby. I realize I haven't really put pen to paper and created a story that I'd be proud of.
I'm sure I have enough life experience to tell a good moral. Be yourself. Don't let anyone or anything stop you, including yourself.
And, maybe, there are a lot of people out there are denying themselves as per usual. Find spaces where you feel safe enough to be yourself and participate in them.
I ask you dear reader, what's in you that you're denying?