Emotional Frustrations
February 10th, 2023
It's obvious to me now that when I'm emotionally riled up, I get quite nasty. In fact, my mental core seems to be rocked when I get yelled at.
My previous post is evidence of it. And it's not pretty. I'm afraid of what kind of manipulative behaviour I'd do to a girlfriend or wife. If that's how I am when I'm riled up... maybe it's best I stay single for a little while longer.
...I get quite vicious when dealt an injustice. If only I could be more calm, even when prodded.
Temperament
When I'm provoked I go silent. I typically just shrug my shoulders and try to walk away from the conversation.
But a weary temperament is too much for an abuser. It seems that my calm demeanour just provokes the distasteful people. Or shall I say, being calm provokes my parents.
I think it's because they realize their manipulation tactics aren't working anymore. By yelling, kicking, and screaming, they're not getting what they want out of me. And that makes them enraged.
When they start lashing out at me for "not caring," that's when I explode.
But from now on I won't give in. Not anymore. I've given up giving in. You can accuse me of anything.
