Break
March 26th, 2024
I realize that my mind is actually... again... far from healthy. At least my conscious mind is.
My body is as healthy as its ever been. I can run up to 6 miles straight with no breaks, and I have a roughly 7 minute mile time.
That's not impressive for a runner, but it's pretty good for the average Joe. My weight is only 135lbs though.
As you can imagine, a nervous, intellectual temperament lends to a nerdy body. Mishima also noted this when speaking of "anxious men with flat chests." I think however, it's all a product of the foods we are eating, and that both "anxious men" and "flat chests" are symptoms of the deeper bacterial spirit.
I... feel alright. More stable at least, compared to a few years ago. But as far as my existential thoughts go, they are going off the deep end as I ponder more and more about the limits of language and reality.
I, don't feel safe thinking about it over and over again. It's just a model, yet I feel an urge to obsess over it.
I'm going to take a break from writing. I have too many thoughts that come at me now. The words are getting too strong, and making a habit of writing is making my temperament worse. I need to just sit down and be.
I am going to eat a lot of food from here on out. Maybe next time I'll be a 180lbs behemoth. Cheers to the next time I see you.