Beliefs and Identity
March 27th, 2026
Identity is something that you are without relying on external validation. If money, validation, status, and everyone else in the world didn't exist, what and who would you be?
A strong sense of identity is one that is unshakeable, one that cannot be changed by money, validation, and status.
It's something that comes only if you truly believe it.
You are "this kind of person." And identities are very malleable.
For me, I am still uncertain on who and what my identity is. Sartre says existence precedes essence, but in this moment in time, picking my identity and choosing and identity would direct my life towards a future. That's the practicality of essence preceding existence.
I used to be someone who said, "My identity comes after the fact, that who I am is a reflection of what I have done. There's no other way about it."
But beliefs can be true and false. There's nothing stopping anything at all.
My identity as a hard-working software engineer was shattered, I had done everything to help my team, and I realized that nobody on my team gave a shit, except for my manager maybe. And even then he doesn't really give a shit, he's just there to get paid.
That's when I realized, what the hell was I there for? Who the fuck am I? Who the fuck am I today or tomorrow or any day? Who the fuck cares? Who the fuck is moving towards any certain direction, and why the fuck would I want to care?
Why the fuck am I working overtime at my shitty software engineering job? Because of fear? Fear of being let go? Fear of being laid off?
I don't know. I don't know the fear. And I don't know what to do about the fear.
I don't know who I am. I don't know what I want. And if everything was handed to me from day one, who would I be? If money and status and power were no concern, who would I be? Who would I be in character, and how would I act? How would I function? How would I interact with the world?
I am imagining a character. We have characters that we gravitate towards.
I realize that everything that's happened in my life seems to almost "invent" an identity for myself. It's insane. I don't think so. And I realize that "inventing" an identity for myself is rather insane.
That just because everything that has happened to this point is who I am, that's something insane. That past is a predictor of future, and that past is always a predictor of future. I am realizing that is more and more untrue.
When you're older you can kind of just accept that the past is at it is. But as I am still young, and still gaining in age, I realize that the opportunity to reinvent, or the opportunity to be a new person is still there. It's always still there.
Identity
I am someone who takes responsibility in both outcome and words. I am not someone who believes in "fault."
I am someone who takes ownership of both actions and words. If I own a word or action, then I commit to it and do it.
I am someone who is responsible and takes ownership.